Tag Archives: accident

I Shall Be With You

The photographer called again. “Just checking in. Are you okay?”

He had been calling everyday for the past week, leaving the same message: “It’s terrible. Just terrible.” I answered today, figuring that if he hadn’t caught his error by now, he never would.

“Are you sure you have the right number?”

“I’m sure. How are you holding up?”

“Um. Excuse me?”

“And this close to the wedding,” he continued to himself. “I’ll return your deposit. You’re dealing with enough.”

“We got married in December of last year.”

He paused: “I don’t think so…” His voice trailed off into confusion.

“I’m positive. You took our photos. My favorite one is on my desk.” Her head on my shoulder, my hand creeping up her dress; we looked like models in a perfume advertisement. The me in the picture stared back at me. Was he as confused as I was?

“Look, K,” the photographer whined. “It was on the news.”

I hung up and read on the internet about my wife’s death. I read, too, about our imminent vows.

I looked back at our picture. The me in the photo looked upset now, his hand continuing it ascent up my wife’s wedding dress.

 


Ideological Fantasy

K started smoking, apparently, though given the way he coughed and convulsed after each drag, his starting was not, also apparently, that long ago.

“Put her crab rangoon on my bill,” he told the waiter, stubbing out his cigarette just the way he practiced at home. The girl should have sat somewhere else while she waited for her takeout. But it was too late for all that.

“Thanks,” she said, awkwardly.

“Do you smoke,” he asked, flashing his pack of cigarettes like a P.I. flashing his badge.

“I don’t.” She was going to be mean. But he did, after all, buy her crab rangoon. “You don’t really see too many people who smoke,” she offered, feeling bad about the crab rangoon.

He was going to tell her that when he smokes, the fumes become people he used to care about, and that, in smoking, he was trying to re-establish bonds long severed. The first time he took a drag, the air around him took on the form of that girl he liked in 5th grade who died in a car accident.

He had sadness in his eyes.

“Wanna take me home?” she asked, feeling bad, still, about the crab rangoon.


Eau de Shiga Naoya

I had been hit by a train so went to Q Resort to convalesce for a week. The doctor said the damage wasn’t bad, but had urged me to take time for myself. So I made the journey to Q Resort.

I spent most of my time at Q Resort sitting out on my veranda and staring absently at the world beyond. There were mountains covered in snow. There was a stream, partially frozen. Etc. I reflected on my brush with death.

One day I found a dead cockroach in my room at Q Resort. I didn’t tell the Hispanic maid; I left the cockroach where it died because it seemed peaceful. The Hispanic maid must have found it because two days later it was gone. I was bereft, a little, but made due, and used the experience to reflect further on the nature of living and dying.

Convincing myself that all life culminates majestically in death, I jumped from the edge of my veranda one night.

Because my room at Q Resort was on the second floor, however, I ended up only with a badly sprained ankle. Unable to walk, I extended my stay at Q Resort another week.