Tag Archives: smoke

At His Irrepressible Best

The dazzle of the evening – fancy cocktails, lots of cleavage, rolled up sleeves – was eclipsed by the weight of  inevitable failure.

She took me to a french restaurant, where we sat rooftop and looked out at the decaying skyline. Ever the portrait of dark sophistication, she sat contemplatively in the embrace of the day’s remaining shadows, her gaze drawn to something beyond my right shoulder.

“There’s a building on fire over there,” she said, removing the olives from her martini. “It’s pretty bad.” When I first met her, she was, to me, impossibly unapproachable. I made up a bullshit story about wanting to adopt her dog.

“Is there a lot of smoke,” I replied, losing myself in her eyes.

“Yeah.” She lifted her martini. “People are jumping.”

“I imagine it’ll spread soon.”

She scrutinized the scene behind me. “Probably. We’re the only ones left up here. At least we won’t have to pay. But my martini is almost gone.”

She was right. I could feel an uncomfortable warmth biting at my neck.

“Do you want some of this?”

“I think mezcal is disgusting.”

“Are we in trouble?”

She nodded silently, took my hand and pressed her lips to my knuckles.


Ideological Fantasy

K started smoking, apparently, though given the way he coughed and convulsed after each drag, his starting was not, also apparently, that long ago.

“Put her crab rangoon on my bill,” he told the waiter, stubbing out his cigarette just the way he practiced at home. The girl should have sat somewhere else while she waited for her takeout. But it was too late for all that.

“Thanks,” she said, awkwardly.

“Do you smoke,” he asked, flashing his pack of cigarettes like a P.I. flashing his badge.

“I don’t.” She was going to be mean. But he did, after all, buy her crab rangoon. “You don’t really see too many people who smoke,” she offered, feeling bad about the crab rangoon.

He was going to tell her that when he smokes, the fumes become people he used to care about, and that, in smoking, he was trying to re-establish bonds long severed. The first time he took a drag, the air around him took on the form of that girl he liked in 5th grade who died in a car accident.

He had sadness in his eyes.

“Wanna take me home?” she asked, feeling bad, still, about the crab rangoon.


C’est Cella

We drink wine as the world ends around us.

“And to all the destruction in men,” she says, raising her glass. “And to all the corruption in my head,” I rejoin, touching my glass to hers.

Another explosion. Another scream in the distance. It’s only a matter of time before those screams ostensibly become ours, which is why tonight we drink the good wine, the wine she is supposed to be saving for a special occasion–a promotion, accolade.

As rock falls from the sky I think back to when I first met her.

———-

She had been smoking on her veranda and talking to the night sky. She had been doing it every night for months. Every night I would watch her from the darkness of my own veranda, imagining a conversation with a dead lover or maybe a confrontation with God.

“What are you doing,” I asked once, emerging from the darkness.

“I’m talking to Orion.” She remained focused on the stars. “I’m trying to convince him to take off his belt.”

She started sweet talking him when she was a teenager, she said. And men can only resist for so long.

———-

“I guess you were right,” I say.