Tag Archives: picture

I Shall Be With You

The photographer called again. “Just checking in. Are you okay?”

He had been calling everyday for the past week, leaving the same message: “It’s terrible. Just terrible.” I answered today, figuring that if he hadn’t caught his error by now, he never would.

“Are you sure you have the right number?”

“I’m sure. How are you holding up?”

“Um. Excuse me?”

“And this close to the wedding,” he continued to himself. “I’ll return your deposit. You’re dealing with enough.”

“We got married in December of last year.”

He paused: “I don’t think so…” His voice trailed off into confusion.

“I’m positive. You took our photos. My favorite one is on my desk.” Her head on my shoulder, my hand creeping up her dress; we looked like models in a perfume advertisement. The me in the picture stared back at me. Was he as confused as I was?

“Look, K,” the photographer whined. “It was on the news.”

I hung up and read on the internet about my wife’s death. I read, too, about our imminent vows.

I looked back at our picture. The me in the photo looked upset now, his hand continuing it ascent up my wife’s wedding dress.

 


Materialist Fantasies

“What are you reading,” I inquired in my best disinterested voice.

 

Silently, she held her book to her face to reveal its title: An Exegesis on Repressed Masculinity.

 

I suppressed an eye roll. “Is it interesting?”

 

“Interesting enough,” she shrugged. “It’s probably the story of your life: sex and anguish, sex and decay, sex and self.”

 

“That sums it up.”

 

She smiled.

 

“May I?” I extended a hand across the bar top.

 

My name, in elegant font, was printed along the book’s spine. And my photo – an old one, taken with my now dead dog – was on the back.

 

“Where did you get this?”

 

“That guy over there. He’s the author. And” – she raised her ring finger – “my husband.”

 

He kissed her on the cheek and drank the rest of her martini. “Ready,” he asked in my voice.

 

She nodded, and then addressed me: “Keep it. I’ve read it eighteen times.” She had written her number on the first page.

 

We had sex two days later.

 

“I hope you don’t mind,” she breathed heavily afterward, “but my husband would like to join us now. Come on out, K.”

 

I watched in terror as I stepped out of her bedroom closet.


A General Hegemony

Six months had passed since I put her portrait in the trunk of my car.

“Why is this still in here,” she asked not long after, her hands full of groceries. “So I always have you in my trunk,” I replied.

But her portrait–all glamour and heavy eye make-up–soon became covered in dust and the fine wood frame in which she was encased became scuffed.

Still, I was so used to her back there that the thought of hanging her on the wall was mildly unnerving.

We had a fight two days ago. She accused me of stealing her old wedding ring to finance my cocaine habit.

I called her three times. I sent twelve text messages.

Silence.

I opened the trunk yesterday morning to fetch my umbrella. I gave her portrait a knowing look, thinking, “What the fuck is your problem?” That’s when I noticed that her previously immaculate smile was now twisted into a scream.

“Well if she’s dead,” I said to myself, “now’s the time to steal her wedding ring.”

When she was found this afternoon in the trunk of a new Mercedes I felt mildly guilty, though I didn’t really know why: Fucking rich people.