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An Affirmation That Affirms Nothing

“Why are you here,” I asked in an accusatory tone.

 

“I loved him,” she moaned, extending a finger toward the coffin. She had dirt under her fingernail. “We were going to marry next August.”

 

“See that brunette in front? That’s his wife. So, why are you here?” I was calm.

 

“I don’t know.” Her eyes were red. She grabbed the lapels of her miniskirtsuit and pulled them tightly to her chest. “Do I have to leave?”

 

“Well, no. But you’ve been at every funeral for the past month. So I’m curious.” The authority with which I spoke prevented her from realizing that I was guilty of the same.

 

“I just prefer the dead.” She glared at me.

 

I was overcome with passion.

 

“So do I,” I gasped, grasping her hand. It was like ice. She recoiled but I refused to let go. “It’s okay. I understand.” She was obviously dead and found comfort in those like her. I, however, was just a deviant with a fetish for dead bodies. “Give me a chance,” I implored. “I won’t let you down.”

 

I took the flower she had tucked behind her ear (symbolizing life, perhaps) and sank its stem into my neck.


A Particular Historical Constellation

Thus he decided to put himself in the freezer.

Wanting to stop time, but not knowing how, he reasoned that freezing himself would almost be the equivalent of freezing time.

He wanted to stop time because things were finally good in the usual ways that people mean when they say that. But he knew life to be a constant negotiation between the good life and the opposite of the good life. The trick was to stop time when life was good so it would always be good.

He had envisioned casting a spell or whispering magic words or waving a magic wand to bring time to a stop. But that’s impossible. Which is why he decided to put himself in the freezer.

Before doing so, he went shopping. I want to look nice forever, he told himself. He bought a nice suit and a really expensive watch. He charged the shit out of his middle class credit card–since time was coming to an end it didn’t really matter.

He got in and closed the door.

He wasn’t dead when somebody opened the freezer a day later. But his watched stopped. So his plan kinda worked.