Tag Archives: credit card

A Particular Historical Constellation

Thus he decided to put himself in the freezer.

Wanting to stop time, but not knowing how, he reasoned that freezing himself would almost be the equivalent of freezing time.

He wanted to stop time because things were finally good in the usual ways that people mean when they say that. But he knew life to be a constant negotiation between the good life and the opposite of the good life. The trick was to stop time when life was good so it would always be good.

He had envisioned casting a spell or whispering magic words or waving a magic wand to bring time to a stop. But that’s impossible. Which is why he decided to put himself in the freezer.

Before doing so, he went shopping. I want to look nice forever, he told himself. He bought a nice suit and a really expensive watch. He charged the shit out of his middle class credit card–since time was coming to an end it didn’t really matter.

He got in and closed the door.

He wasn’t dead when somebody opened the freezer a day later. But his watched stopped. So his plan kinda worked.


Guilelessness and Innocence, Whether Genuine or Contrived

“You got your renewal in the mail,” she called in a flat voice from the foyer. She was uncomfortable. She handed me the envelope. Renewal time already, I asked myself, it seems like I just renewed.

I wasn’t going to open it; maybe after dinner. But until I did, I knew things would be tense. I opened it. She frowned.

Dear K:

Thank you for your continued patronage. (. . .)
You have six months remaining on your current contract. We therefore ask that you start thinking about renewing your girlfriend. As always, we have a variety of payment plans and togetherness options to suit your needs. Please feel free to renew online by logging in. . .

I went to my computer. I wanted to keep her, at least a little longer. I mean, she wasn’t getting fat, she liked my jokes, and she wore high heels around the house. But I had been using my credit card a lot lately–most recently for a pair of Valentino stilettos that matched the tile in the kitchen–indeed too much.

As feared, my credit card was declined.

“Cheapskate,” she growled as she marched out the door, the echo of Valentino stilettos piercing the night air.


The Virtues of Their Wares

American Express wants everybody to know if you’re rich or poor. Depending on your income it will offer you credit cards in a variety of colors. At the top is American Express Purple maybe. At the bottom is a transparent–like your socioeconomic worth–card, which they call Blue.

The clerk, a foreigner, was oblivious to the implications of K’s transparent card. He had gotten to know her over the past long time as he  frequented her fancy store to A) have the things he wanted and have them now and B)  impress this clerk (who looked kinda like Anna Torv, upon whom K had a mild crush  not because she’s attractive (because she isn’t) but because she is interesting looking) with his false purchasing power.

This would look amazing on you. She offered K some fashionable monstrosity that in its very monstrousness made it somehow less monster-like. Unable to say no to women, K put it on. Let me zip it up for you she said and dropped to her knees.

K saw the prostitutiveness in the gesture and  grew curious: What if I were to buy something really expensive he opined. But he soon frowned. Impossible. His American Express was transparent.