Thus he decided to put himself in the freezer.
Wanting to stop time, but not knowing how, he reasoned that freezing himself would almost be the equivalent of freezing time.
He wanted to stop time because things were finally good in the usual ways that people mean when they say that. But he knew life to be a constant negotiation between the good life and the opposite of the good life. The trick was to stop time when life was good so it would always be good.
He had envisioned casting a spell or whispering magic words or waving a magic wand to bring time to a stop. But that’s impossible. Which is why he decided to put himself in the freezer.
Before doing so, he went shopping. I want to look nice forever, he told himself. He bought a nice suit and a really expensive watch. He charged the shit out of his middle class credit card–since time was coming to an end it didn’t really matter.
He got in and closed the door.
He wasn’t dead when somebody opened the freezer a day later. But his watched stopped. So his plan kinda worked.
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