Tag Archives: thursday

Convergence and Coincidence

And so we went to Thirsty Thursday, as her short-haired friend liked to call it. Thirsty Thursday was the cutesy name for the four of us gathering around her friend’s dining room table making stilted, domestic chit-chat and drinking poorly made gin-and-tonics.

Thirsty Thursday used to just be three, but her friend went and got herself a boyfriend – bald, midwestern, decently friendly. He worked in a train yard, kept a tally of how many vagrants he busted riding the rails.

I drank six poorly made gin-and-tonics, slept until 2 pm. I woke up with a terrible headache and a half-baked plan to take up model railroad.

“Enjoy yourself last night?”

Her voice rattled against the insides of my skull, causing me to wince. “I always do.”

“You wouldn’t shut up about trains and” – a dramatic pause – “their symbolism as great modernity or some shit.”

I dropped my head back on the pillow. “Sounds like something I’d say. Trains are always going forward after all. Progress.”

“Whatever.”

I closed my eyes. “Remember how I used to live next to some tracks?”

“Yeah. I used to fantasize about your death by train.”

She heard me sigh, then added: “Now that would be progress.”

 


My Way Back to Sea

I spent much of her insurance money repairing her body (no easy feat after the body dies), filling bullet holes, sewing lacerations, reattaching her head. The embalmer thought I wanted an open casket (he made her beautiful), not knowing that there would be no funeral.

I cashed in the rest of her policy to have her body encased in ice and stored in my newly-purchased freezer. “You said I could,” I muttered the first time I laid her frozen body on the bed and, with my newly-purchased icepick, chiseled out her sex organs.

She was at the height of physical perfection when she was murdered. And thus in preserving her body, I preserved her sexual attractiveness. Every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday I wheeled her out of the freezer, liberated the parts I needed, performed the acts I needed to perform, and wheeled her back in.

Yesterday she escaped from her block of ice. I placed her body on the bed but received a phone call. My mom. “K! Why don’t you call anymore?!”

When I went back to the bedroom she was gone. So was the icepick.

If you’re reading this, whoever you are, help! There may still be time.