Tag Archives: thief

Consequences of Traumatic Intrusions

Holding my chocolate peanut butter cups in a gingerly fashion–the way you might handle an injured pigeon–, I waited patiently at the register. I was the only customer, and the cashier was nowhere in sight. Having no urgent business to tend to (except, of course, my chocolate), I felt no real need to shout for attention. I had never been in before today. But K, who already calls himself a “regular,” told me that the cashier was pretty.

I thought about just stealing my peanut butter cups; who would know? My devious train of thought was interrupted, however, by a quiet sobbing coming from somewhere toward the back of the shop, from behind a curtain that was ostensibly where employees sought refuge from their customers.

I pulled the curtain back. It was the cashier, her back toward me, her shoulders heaving. Her cellphone, still illuminated, was in her hand. Not wanting to startle her, I dutifully scurried back to my spot at the register. Moments later she emerged. Her eyes were red and vulnerable. I wanted to say something bold and heroic. I wanted to buy her a drink or offer a tissue.

Instead: “Just these peanut butter cups, please.”


To Become One’s Own Cause

“Tell me a story or I’ll shoot her.” He raised his gun. The pretty brunette made indistinct noises from behind the bandana in her mouth.

So I did. I told him about this aspiring writer who decides to do something crazy because he only knows how to write about “what actually happens.” He decides to rob a bank but falls for the bank teller. While he intended to write a note demanding all the money, he ends up writing her a poem. They go on a date a few days later. They go back to his place for a nightcap. There’s a knock on the door. The aspiring writer opens it and finds a man holding a gun. The man barges in and, for reasons unknown, ties up the aspiring writer and the bank teller.

“What happens then?” The man with the gun asked.

I told him how, in the story, the man with the gun forces the aspiring writer tell him a story.

“And then?” The man with the gun asked.

I told him how the aspiring writer doesn’t know how to finish the story and how the brunette begins to fear, more than ever before, for her life.


A Double Indemnity

This is a/the brief story of K’s brief love affair with an expensive watch.

K bought a watch once that was way too expensive. But he just had to have it.

He took very good care of it. But one day he was careless and scratched it. Maybe he hit it on something or something. K was upset for a long time over that scratch. But scratches are like this: the first one is always awful but they get easier with time. They become a record of occurrences–a temporal journey or some such.

So eventually he would scratch the shit out of it doing something impractical and end up caring all the more for his watch. And when it would break down, he would rush to get it fixed (it’s expensive to fix an expensive watch). Because that’s love.

But one day his watch betrayed him. When he wasn’t looking it vanished. (Yes, just like that.) He was sad and didn’t understand.

So he shrugged his shoulders and went to the mall to buy a new one. That’s when he realized that his watch must have also stolen his wallet.

How would he ever tell time again?


Events Like This

The very last conversation they had went like this probably:

K: Why are you being mean to me?

Her: I’m not being mean. I’m trying to be indifferent.

K: Trying to be indifferent? Seems like a contradiction to me.

Her: [Slams door.]

The next morning, K zipped his suitcase, folded the linens, and left. He made sure to wake before dawn so she wouldn’t hear. But he knew she was awake and listening from inside the guest bedroom, where she had taken to ensconcing herself everyday since all the bad stuff happened.

By now she had monsterized K to her friends. He could do the same, you know? But who would he tell? And who would care? And wasn’t there some kind of implicit confidentiality pact, besides?

As a final menacing gesture to prove a point that was mediocre at best, K nicked her brand new Clearasil before he left. Later, he will smother his cat o’ nine tails in it before flogging himself.

Much later he will hear–through the usual outlets–that the man she met on the internet two days after they broke up kidnapped her and demanded a handsome ransom.

K will try to be indifferent.