Tag Archives: Short Fiction

Antinomies of Postmodern Individuality

The tattoo artist was a master of his craft, but what his customer asked for proved difficult. The problem, he later justified to himself, was that “[he] just didn’t know what a woman being attacked by a school of jellyfish looked like.”

Matters were worsened by his extremely demanding customer who, wealthy indeed, was used to getting what he wanted, when he wanted. The tattoo artist could have waved him away with a curt flick of the wrist. But the sum of money offered was just too grand to pass up: “Come back at such and such date, and I will have your design.”

While the design seemed intimidating from the outset, the tattoo artist had been confident in his abilities. But time grew short, and the tattoo artist grew anxious.

He reached for his phone, only a few days left.

“Hello, K, I need to draw a woman being attacked by jellyfish.” Plans were made.

The next day he showed up at Q beach at the designated time, pad and pencil in hand. He sketched furiously, creativity liberated, until he realized that the woman in the water was his sister.

Besieged by anguish, he decided to double the price.


Cosmopolitanism

The aging homeless man whose home is under the bridge with the purple graffiti does this thing every morning. He opens a plastic, translucent umbrella and crouches underneath it as though he is waiting for rain. But rain does not come. Instead, pigeons come. They are all dirty like he is and so there is a natural affinity between the two. They come and sit on his umbrella as he crouches under it, and they make their various pigeon noises and stuff and he smiles. Eventually the day presses on, and as passersby increase in number compared to the relative calm of the morning hours the pigeons disperse and go back to wherever they had been before. Then the homeless man closes his umbrella and stacks it on a big pile of useless crap he has amassed over many homeless years because homeless men like him amass big piles of crap like that over many homeless years. Then he frowns. The passersby don’t want to be his friends, which, I would like to believe though I am wrong, the pigeons are. If he dies of legionnaire’s disease, however, it will be a betrayal of friendship—the worst kind of betrayal there is.


Everybody Was Content

He knocked on the door to the girl’s “private studio” but really her shitty mezzanine level apartment. As he waited for her–he didn’t know what she looked like; she was thin and probably attractive based on the blurry photos he saw on the website and that’s all that really mattered because men are like that–he had a passing thought: this is probably a bad idea. He always had passing thoughts like that, though, so whatever.

Then the girl opened the door.

She held her composure better than he did (he was poor at doing that in general). Professor, she said, what an unexpected surprise. They both just sorta stood there. He, sartorially perfect as always, and she in a silk robe and nothing on underneath, probably.

He didn’t really know what to do. He tried to think back to the teacher-student etiquette seminar he took several years ago, but they didn’t cover situations like this one.

I should leave he said, proud of himself. But she dropped her robe to the floor, there, in the doorway.

What’s the worst that can happen, he thought to himself as he followed her inside, because men are like that.