Tag Archives: bathroom

The Fraught Moment of Exposure

She was topless, staring at a tattoo on her right ribcage–flowery script, four lines deep. A towel was in a pile at her feet; she had been readying to take a shower.

We locked eyes in the mirror.

“This wasn’t here last night,” she said to me but probably more to herself.

I grew defensive. “What do you want me to do about it?” I left the bathroom, shutting the door behind me–shutting her in there with her new and nonconsensual tattoo.

……….

I knew that tattoo. It was the same one my ex-girlfriend got on her right ribs. A verse from some obsequious poem. “It reminds me of you, K,” she had said.

When we were breaking up she bragged of planning to have it removed: “It’ll be like taking off a dress.”

……….

The sobs from the other side of the bathroom door continued. I slid a business card under the door (tattoo removal; complements of my ex-girlfriend, who left a pile in front of my door the day she moved out) and left.

……….

Two months later a shrill scream woke me. I knew what it meant. I fished a business card from my wallet and reached for my keys.


Unconstrained Productivity

She yanked at her roots, both fists tangled in brownish/blonde hair. She had been doing it for weeks, eyes locked on herself in the bathroom mirror–tugging and pulling with all her might, until her eyes swelled with tears and her face twisted into a grimace.

“It’s not going to grow any faster,” I said in the most sympathetic way I could. 

“You just don’t get it, “she spat, glaring at me in the mirror. 

Everything changed the evening she came home with her new hair cut, the recommendation of an inept stylist whose theories of hair design have no place in reality. She hated me now. Not because I did anything wrong, but rather because I was part of the world in which she, now seven inches shorter, so to speak, had to live. 

“Just go away.” She pulled on her hair again and slammed the bathroom door.

“You were wrong, K.” I woke in the morning to find myself floating in a sea of her hair. Her voice continued to utter ominous things, but, because of the mass of hair, I couldn’t locate the source. 

I felt myself being dragged  under. It was either the undertow or something else. 


The Perverse Exchange of Gazes

I’m sorry, she said. I can’t help it.

I rolled off of her and looked at her in a soft way, pleading silently for a logical explanation. She looked away. Don’t be mad.

K warned me to stay away. But that only encouraged me. You know how guys are: they think they’re the exception to the rule.

She was nice enough to let me try, but it was obvious that I was too alive.

She spoke calmly, knowing I needed to be told something grand: I went to a party once and my boyfriend at the time told me to meet him in the bathroom. It was completely dark in there when I pushed the door open. I couldn’t find the light switch. I groped around until my hands landed on what I thought was his erect penis. So I got on top, fucked him, and snuck out. Very erotic. I found out later that it was actually a dead man with rigor mortis in all the right places. My boyfriend broke up with me and I haven’t been interested in the living since.

After a moment, I said: I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom.

She only smiled.