Women claim that they wear thongs so that continuity is not disrupted (something about panty lines). But as the woman tried in vain to dislodge her thong from her ass, her continuity was disrupted in a most unanticipated way. She picked at it through her tight leather pants, and had she not been so focused on her discomfort, one would have thought she wasn’t wearing underwear at all–sublimating any presumption of propriety (which research suggests is the “real” reason women wear thongs these days). (Don’t ask me how I know that.) (I’m paid to know a lot about a lot of things.)
K nudged me. Get her to stop doing that, he said. You do it, I countered.
The woman spun around to face us, having evidently overheard our conversation. With a focused gaze, she kicked off her shoes and slithered out of her leather pants. Then she took off her thong and crammed it in her mouth. She chewed and swallowed with minimal effort.
Giving us both the finger, she marched off, leaving her shoes and leather pants behind.
I glanced at K. That was weird.
I know, he replied. I’m wearing the same exact pair.
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