Dalliances

God sat K down at His kitchen table, offering pad and pen. Go on, God goaded, make your list. K petulantly took pen to pad and began listing the attributes he demanded in the woman of his dreams.

When he finished, K placed pen next to pad and said to God, I’m finished. He was still petulant. God replied, Very well. I will make her for you per our arrangement.

Years later, K met the woman of his dreams. She was indeed to his exact specifications and they fell in love. In the thralls of passion one evening, K said to the woman of his dreams: You’re perfect. If God came to me and asked me to describe the woman of my dreams, I would describe you. Per his arrangement with Him, he could not tell the woman of his dreams that God did in fact do this. She was dubious. But K persisted. I’m serious. If He asked me to list everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman, I–

The woman of his dreams was angry: I bet you say that to all the girls. She thereafter walked out on K.

(Perhaps K left something important off  his list.)