Tag Archives: reading

Inconclusive Stability

Still not used to her new glasses, she reached behind the lenses and rubbed an eye. “Why did you make me get these?” she asked. “I can see fine.”

She kept the windows open even in the winter, and a sharp frozen breeze blew in. I retrieved her favorite cashmere throw and draped it over her shoulders. “Thanks,” she said with surprising sweetness. She extended her hand as I walked back to the kitchen, grazing my arm. It was the first time in three weeks she had touched me.

I asked her how many eggs she wanted and she said two.

Her touch, though faint, stayed on my skin. As chilly as it was inside, I felt myself growing warm and the kitchen seemed stuffy. An eerie quiet settled in and I could hear her measured breath.

“Are you okay, K?” she asked from the kitchen table where she was reading a fashion magazine.

Without warning, I toppled to the floor. I heard her scream with an unfamiliar urgency as she rushed to my side. Her hair was messy and the lenses of her new glasses were fogged up. I closed my eyes, stung by the life in her breath.


Philosophical Acumen

I must have fallen asleep, for I don’t know how long – at some point she had lit her favorite candle (shaped like a man’s bashed in skull), so I had probably slept a while. She was as I remembered: arms hugging her legs, book in her hands. The flame of her favorite candle looked like a man trying to shake off his own immolation. He writhed, casting her profile in varying depths of black.

She smiled. “Someone was tired.”

I rubbed my eyes. “I guess.”

The house was shadowy and cool.

“It’s snowing,” she said, eyes returned to her book.

I looked behind me. “Jesus,” I said, transfixed by the vast white on the other side of the window. “How long was I asleep?”

She shrugged. “A few days. It hasn’t been snowing this whole time, though. Just since yesterday.”

Yesterday?

I swung my legs off of the couch and stared at her. She caught my gaze, momentarily, before the shadow cast by her favorite candle swelled again.

“What,” she said from somewhere in the shadow. “I wanted to finish my book. But your friend K came over instead.”

The shadow receded from her face and she was still smiling.


The Frail

I lost the needle I used to sew her mouth shut. That also meant that I couldn’t sew her hands back onto her arms, or reattach my tongue – which I bit off, impulsively, after I swore I’d never speak to her.

Some time later, she asked me to cut her hands off and sew her lips together so she wouldn’t be tempted to sing me songs or write me poetry. I obliged, though her voice and her words sustained me.

I kept the needle on a chain, which I wore around my neck. When she was ready, I promised, I would unsew everything – when she was ready to nourish me again.

But I was mugged one day, coming home from the store. During the struggle the chain came off my neck and the needle disappeared. The eggs in my shopping bag also cracked and yolk got everywhere.

She smiled at me when I got home, but all I could do was cry and hide my bruises. When I opened my mouth, incomprehensible consonants tumbled out. She only gestured and flailed in return. I took a pen and wrote everything down: the mugging, the eggs, the needle. She shrugged, accepting the forever silence.

All I could do was write. All she could do was read.

But we discovered solace in each other’s gaze – and love, compassion, understanding. The silence would heal us.

Until I found her in the kitchen, her left eye dangerously close to the flame of her favorite candle.